Third Beat

This was my night to be on the run — hitting up 3 shows, or, perhaps more accurately 1 show and 2 chunks.

I was shocked to learn before departing for the 8pm Double Threat show at Yuk Yuk’s that it was not sold out. What? This was a double bill of Todd Barry and Noel Fielding, for cryin’ out loud. Easily one of the best shows of the whole Festival. Thankfully, there were only a few empty chairs by showtime, otherwise I’d have some strong words for my fellow Torontonians.

Todd Barry rocks out his half hour at Saturday's Double Threat show.

The couple I spoke with in line had no idea who they’d be seeing, so I did my best to school them whilst picking my jaw up off the sidewalk. Turns out, they weren’t alone in their random choice. It seemed that almost half the crowd was a blank slate, with the other half being fans of Fielding.

Montreal’s Derek Seguin got the show off to a killer start, even when endangering the audience’s goodwill with a cutting Leafs slam. Todd Barry went up next and was his regular kick-ass self. Unfortunately I had to miss Fielding’s set, a hiccup in my schedule that hurt just a little bit more after becoming a newly-converted fangirl at Comedy Bar the night before. But I wouldn’t leave until hearing the piercing female screams that accompanied Fielding’s ascent onto the stage.

A harrowing cab ride later (really, a cellphone AND pager while driving?) I slid through the stage door of Massey Hall just in time to witness early show host Brad Garret exit and greet a hoard of flashbulbs and autograph seekers. From what I saw, he accommodated everyone. Thumbs up.

Unfortunately I had to take my place in the house before the anticipated arrival of last year’s gala host Sarah Silverman, in town this summer to shoot a movie. She reportedly hung out in the dressing rooms all night, as evidenced via Jimmy Carr.

When host Louis CK walked onstage to host, it seemed the ovation in the hall surprised even him. When someone like Louis gets such a deafening welcome, it kinda gives you faith in the tastes of the comedy-consuming public.

I would be there only long enough to see Louis deliver his opening set, which was 100% new-to-me (I last saw his full show in November). I will never forget the image of his female masturbation impression. And probably neither will the stagehand who had to deliver a new mic after Louis broke the first by dropping it on the ground as part of the bit.

Upon his surprisingly sweet introduction of Todd Barry, I had to tear myself away.

It hurt so very much to abandon the Massey Hall lineup (which also included Mike Wilmot, Mike Birbiglia, Jimmy Carr, and Tommy Tiernan) to haul my ass uptown and see Chris Hardwick host Best of the Fest. The schedule for Best of the Fest made it logistically impossible to attend any other nights without wiping out my entire evening, so a hard choice had to be made.

But oh, it was worth it. I’ve quickly fallen in love with the Nerdist podcast and wanted desperately to see Hardwick this week, and he didn’t disappoint. Someone please bring him back up here to headline. I beg you.

The mystery lineup included Mark Little, Maryellen Hooper, Michael Mittermeier, and Sebastian Maniscalco. Not too shabby at all! If even a few of these names had appeared on the JFL website as teasers, perhaps it would have been a sell-out.

Well, that’s it — I’m beat! A great time was had this week, and I’m as exhausted as I typically am when I hit the Montreal edition. I’d say that’s a success.

(Before you think it, I just want to point out that it’s still Friday somewhere.)

Sarah Silverman hasn’t aged a bit since appearing on Evening at the Improv in 1992 (this is even before her too-brief time on SNL). But here’s something to make you feel old: babies born during this set are heading to college in the fall.

A lot of these old A&E standup shows come back to haunt the participants, and while it’s obviously not as good as anything Sarah produces today, I think she can probably live with this set without cringing.

Make no mistake: sitting in the UCB Theatre for 7.5 hours straight on the Saturday night of the Del Close Marathon is a physical effort, especially for someone who normally has to be talked into leaving her apartment on a Saturday night. How those people who stayed through the entire Marathon did it, I have no idea.

I was drenched in sweat almost immediately. I drank 2 bottles of fruit smoothies and lots of water, and was still horribly dehydrated by the end of it. Holding a 2-pound weight infront of my face the entire time didn’t help the comfort level. At 30, I certainly felt I was at the older end of the late-night audience spectrum, I imagine because most people older than me have died in similar conditions at past Marathons, their corpses hidden behind the drywall (which would explain the smell).

One of my highlights Saturday night was seeing Improvised Shakespeare for the first time. I’d been meaning to for ages, and it never seemed to work out for me. Their following is totally justified.

Ian Roberts didn’t disappoint with Lazy Man. The hour flew by. The highlight was him reluctantly telling a story that had been an in-joke between he and his brother since they were kids, about Ian getting away with swearing during a family road trip, and his brother trying failing to get him in trouble. The story was told reluctantly because Mr. and Mrs. Roberts were sitting just feet away from their son, and Ian worried that the story won’t be special anymore now that they know about it. It was an oddly personal moment, something I didn’t expect to see during the Saturday night of DCM.

I was pleased to see Ed Helms perform in what would be his only show of Marathon, Seth & Ed’s Puppet Talk Show. Having left their “puppet theatre” back in LA, Helms and Seth Morris came out on stage with what appeared to be paper tablecloths covering their heads. Damn them, thought I with the camera. At this point, it would have been about 95 degrees in the theatre, plus the lights shining on them, so it only took about a minute before Helms commented on the heat and the fact that the makeshift human backdrops may have been a bad idea. I’d often wanted to yell “take it off!” at Helms, so I gave into that impulse and they subsequently removed their little paper barriers. Gentlemen, my camera thanks you.

Their celebrity guest, Sarah Silverman, also returned to the stage for the Benson Interruption (along with Rob Huebel and Paul Scheer). I sure have been getting my fill of Sarah lately, between this and Toronto in July! I definitely am not complaining. She was hilarious and interesting and WOW is that girl photogenic. The Comic’s Comic has video of her appearance with Seth & Ed, which is worth the watch.

After Doug Benson & friends, the true late-night insanity started. Smartest Panel of Experts (hilarious), Cracked Out (was NOT expecting this to turn into a bad rave!), Psychic Improv (strange change of pace), and then the coup de grasse…

In prior years, I had not stayed late enough for Match Game ‘76. It’s been described to me as “epic”, and I missed out on last year’s Brooke Shields appearance and subsequent bullshit retelling of it in the NY Daily News. I was determined and committed to seeing it this year, and I suppose it was worth sticking around about an hour past my “fed up” point.

I was in the absolute wrong place for viewing much of the Match Game insanity, but it was crazy and enjoyable and fun to catch glimpses of Jack McBrayer getting shit upon. But it’s definitely a frat-boy thing. Yes, let’s smash a watermelon on the stage… not caring that the girls sitting on the stage infront of you may have a differing opinion on how much fun that is. (Having photographed a lot of variety/sketch shows, this a bit of a sore point for me, as I’ve actually had asshole performers purposely try to get prop food/beverage on my camera gear. So this whole disregard-for-comfort-and-property thing gets me kinda pissy.)

I must admit I don’t remember half of what I witnessed during Match Game ‘76 — I couldn’t even properly answer my friend who asked me who all was in it — so I pray video surfaces at some point. Though I’m sure many of the performs pray that it doesn’t.

It was 2:30 am. I had made it as far as I had promised myself I would. After a run backstage to chug a Miller Lite (I was that desperate for liquids) I went back to the hotel and showered with my clothes on, as they had been rendered too disgusting to even contaminate my luggage with. And it was off to sleep and get ready to do it again the following afternoon.

1 photo from each show included after the jump.

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Friday night at Toronto’s Massey Hall, Sarah Silverman summed up every audience member’s thoughts in six words:

“Can you believe this lineup? Seriously.”

Just For Laughs Toronto indeed blew its alt-comedy load in twin 90-minute shows with Silverman as host, and featuring John Mulaney, Arj Barker, Todd Glass, David Cross, and Louis CK. It’s the kind of freakish cosmic event that you imagine only happens once a century.

Silverman kicked things off with straight standup, opening with the requisite reference to the local municipal workers’ strike:

“They’re making us feel so at home here. They feed us, put us up in a nice hotel, put all this garbage in the street to make it feel like New York…”

In true Sarah style, she recounted a story about her pubescent niece, and mused bout the power of the word “pussy”. At the midway point we were treated to a few songs (3 in the early show, just 2 in the late show due to some red light disobedience in the first half).

Mulaney, in his first visit to Toronto, mused on crime investigations before the days of DNA, why drag queens’ perception of what a woman looks like is based on a housewife from a Far Side cartoon, and provided the night’s best throwaway line:

“In my spare time, when I’m not trying to figure out who Tyler Perry is…”

Barker started off his 12 minutes with a meta bit about a hack airplane joke, leading to a Star Wars themed variation on it to prove “my shit’s fresh and original!” Barker’s Toronto reference du jour: contemplating the amount of pot he’d have to smoke in order to enjoy the Bata Shoe Museum.

Introduced by Silverman as her favorite comic, Glass opened both sets by toying with his relative lack of name recognition. For the early show, he had the band play him on at great length as he “modestly” acknowledged the long-ago petered-out ovation. Late show, he simply asked “where are all the people I drew here tonight?” His fantastic rant about how making rape jokes doesn’t mean a person endorses rape only made it into the first set. A shame, considering how many rape-related jokes were indeed scattered throughout all the comic’s sets. It couldn’t have been more relevant.

Cross displayed his Toronto research while recounting his search for poutine earlier in the day, which he figured he’d find by walking up Yonge “’til it peters out.” During the early show, he mocked the festival’s hour-long rehearsal that afternoon, noting how useful it was to confirm his ability to shake hands with Sarah, and to prevent him from going to the side of the stage and taking a nap in the middle of his set. My favourite Cross bit of the night centred on how Coors Light treats their customers like retards, making cans with a bigger mouth and making the mountains on the can turn blue when it’s cold (“Thanks, I was using some of my other senses.”)

And then the man himself, Louis CK, closed out the show to the loudest ovation of the night. As I wrote about after he last played Toronto in December, these are some damn dedicated fans, and rightfully so. It’s been 6 months, so of course he unloaded material I hadn’t heard before. When he’s back in Toronto in October, he’ll likely have a whole new hour (presale password for those tix is “cklive”). Hell, when I see him in Montreal next week, he’ll probably have a new hour. An hour from now he’ll have a new hour. Dude writes a lot, is what I’m sayin’.

As in December, I’m at a bit of a loss for what to say about Louis because nothing I can write will do him justice. I’ll try to work on that before next week’s show. In the meantime, a tiny morsel from him: describing having to help kids open their milk cartons because the design was “invented by some Dutch faggot in 1740″.

The only negative moment of the evening? The genius in the balcony during the late show who yelled out “Jimmy Kimmel!” to Silverman. In what state of mind does this seem like a good idea? She handled the shout-out to her ex-boyfriend well, responding with “thank you for breaking my heart on stage….You must be an awesome friend.”

It should be said: Toronto galas are far more enjoyable than Montreal or even Winnipeg Comedy Festival galas, purely because they aren’t televised. At taped galas, the house lights are kept half-up to capture audience reactions. Slightly, counterproductive as people laugh harder in the dark. Massey Hall is a great venue for comedy, even though the venue staff seem to live on a whole other logic plane. But that’s a story for another day.

All photos by yours truly. Full set of 42 shots available here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sharilynj/sets/72157621644293902/