Third Beat

Snookigate!!

So read the tweets this morning after details of US President Obama’s visit to The View started getting out (the episode airs Friday aired today).

The scandalous comment made? He’s never heard of Snooki, the bepouffed star of Jersey Shore.

GASP!! Oh, Mr. President, say it ain’t so!

Wait — that alone isn’t a concern, because one would certainly hope a sitting president doesn’t sit around watching crappy MTV reality shows.

But here’s the actual scandal: Obama made a reference to Snooki during this year’s White House Correspondent’s Dinner. He knew who she was THEN, right??

Ddun-dun-duuuunnnn.

Mediaite, a site that I’ve expected better from, ran the Snookigate contradiction. It’s now spreading like wildfire among bored junior web editors everywhere.

Perhaps the most eyeroll-inducing example is from one of the million monkeys employed at Gawker. They pecked out this story, designing three different conspiracy theories to explain the discrepancy. But they seemed to forget that just months ago, they re-posted the Daily Beast’s scoop re: Obama’s WHCD speech being penned by some of the Daily Show writers.

I don’t think anyone is exactly calling for impeachment for this (though I haven’t checked Fox News yet), and some outlets do seem to get the ridiculousness of this. But it proves two things: how reporters’ brains shut down completely upon hearing that Something Happened That Can Become A Story If We Want It To, but mostly how ignorant people are when it comes to the function of comedy writers.

These guys were hired – and trusted – by the administration to help write a speech that was funny. They delivered. And Obama did a great read of it. What more can you ask for in a client/performer?

Had they insisted in removing the Snooki reference simply because Obama didn’t know the show, that would be a slippery slope of material destruction. And a much bigger crime than “Snookigate”.

Further edit: shortly after I posted this, John’s blog entry was removed — however Vanity Fair has since discovered that it remains on John’s official site. Should THAT get deleted, here’s the screengrab.

Oh, John.

Dear, dear John.

As my regular readers know well, I like to defend John Mayer’s affections for comedy and his attempts at standup. No defending today.

Nope, today he’s getting a lesson in the concept of “parallel thinking”.

On his Tumblr blog, Mayer writes, in part, the following:

Comedy writer (and friend) Jordan Rubin posted this to his twitter account:

“RT @jordanrubin: Sometimes my inbox overwhelms me. http://twitpic.com/1effhy”

[The link points to the image below.]

Yesterday, July 25, “The Office” actor Rainn Wilson tweeted this:

“Photo of my IPhone ‘inbox’ http://post.ly/ojsU”

There’s no credit given to Jordan Rubin, no link to his page, no pointing Rainn’s 1,981,323 followers to a comedy writer who has 27,197 readers to his name.

There’s nothing comedians hate more than having their material “stolen.” I put “stolen” into quotation marks because one could argue that not giving credit is hard to prove as outright theft, but when it’s all but implied that the joke stems from the person posting it, “stolen” is a good placeholder until a better word comes around. Maybe the offense isn’t really stealing the joke but stealing the appreciation that comes in over it. And the fan appreciation for Rainn’s posting is high, because Jordan’s joke is good. Really good. (When you work for almost an hour Photoshopping a picture of your iPhone inbox for a tweet, you know you’ve got something bigger than your average play on words.)

I think a lot of you can see where this is going.

Using TinEye, the reverse image searcher, I found this image posted elsewhere all over the internet in the weeks following, as varied as here, here, here, here, here, here…

If the Photoshop job was in fact done by Rubin originally, kudos to him for the idea, but there’s no identifying mark on the image to trace it back to him even if someone wanted to.

Considering his tweet of April 9 was retweeted by 100+ people — including Mayer — it went out to literally millions of Twitter users who then passed it along through the distribution means of their choice.

That, my friends, is what we call “viral”. The image is out there, and has been for 3 1/2 months. It’s a piece of “found” humor that keeps getting found by new people. Rainn Wilson found the image and decided to do something with it.

So it’s not a new image, or a new joke. It also happens to be the most logicaljoke for said image. There’s not a lot of ways to improve upon saying that it’s your own inbox.

It’s the perfect formula for parallel thinking. Common experience (image) + obvious joke.

Look, there’s nothing that a comedy nerd secretly loves more than a good public lynching of a thief (see also: Oswalt, Patton). But “stealing” – whether in quotes or not – is a serious allegation, even it’s just Twitter. An allegation that Mayer really should have put some thought behind first. Maybe run it by one of his comedy confidants to run a little biopsy on this (paging Dr. Small, Dr. Sherrod Small).

The saving grace here is a) that the average person – specifically, the average 17 year old blond Mayer fan – doesn’t have comedy ethics on her radar, and b) Rainn’s big enough that his reputation won’t suffer. There won’t be much damage control necessary from John. At least not compared to his past mistakes.

But still. Dude. Come on. Accusing Rainn Wilson of going into Jordan’s old tweets and purposely stealing his joke to reword and put on his own feed? So wrong, so unnecessary.

It pains me to have to rant about this, because I think he has good intentions. But these comedy-related missteps are starting to wear on me. It’s time for John to really know his place in comedyland, instead of just stating it as a disclaimer.

Light week so far!

Monday, July 26
David Letterman: Denis Leary
Craig Ferguson: Steve Carell

Tuesday, July 27
David Letterman: Kristen Schaal
Carson Daly: Garfunkel & Oates (repeat)
Lopez Tonight: Steve Carell

Wednesday, July 28
none

Thursday, July 29
none

Friday, July 30
none

If you’re like me, you’ve seen more comedians perform live than you can count.

Or have you?

It’s been over 20 years since seeing my first live standup show, and in that time I’ve been to several festivals, a ton of clubs, and a hefty serving of one-nighters. From an hour of Carlin to 15 minutes of Cook, there aren’t many big dogs I haven’t come across… I think.

It can be tough to remember every show. But I’m resolving to reach into the far corners of my brain and assemble a complete list of who I’ve seen and where. It’ll take me a while, but I’ll share the results with you in the coming weeks.

I would love to see everyone else’s lists, but even if you don’t care to share, I still challenge everyone to give it a shot for their own enjoyment. I’m already surprised by what shows I’d previously forgotten about, and it’s proving to be fun.

And let’s face it – none of us are getting any younger, and jogging our memories now will help us regale our grandkids with marathon stories about some guy we once saw at Whiplash.

The man in this photo is now married.

To a hot blond.

Woman.

I know, I can’t quite believe it either.

Comedian Jason Beck, my very good friend and one of the few people who could pull me away from Just For Laughs, tied the knot this past weekend in Winnipeg.

He did so after living with his girlfriend Chantal for – get this – 14 years. Protesting the concept of marriage the whole way.

For the record, I was always on HER side. I can’t even count how many times, during late-night post-show pints, I’d seethe “you’ve found a woman who will have you. MARRY HER.”

The event was worth waiting for — at least for us in attendance. I arrived at the church in unison with Trevor Boris, who pulled an all-nighter to get there from Montreal (he and his fancy Pam Anderson gala). He was told he’d be doing 15 minutes at the reception. 15?! He had been told 4-5. Ah yes, this is a comedy wedding.

Even the formal proceedings were a comedy-filled affair. His affinity for rubber chickens became a mixed metaphor about love in a reading, their beloved dogs were in the wedding party, and Jason even managed to incorporate one of his standup bits into the decidedly un-stoic moment of placing the ring on Chantal’s finger. Oh, and did I mention HIS ring was engraved with Penguins logos?

All this in a Catholic church. They managed to find a priest to fulfill most of their wishes, though he’ll likely be excommunicated for it.

The reception was even weirder, of course. I’ve sat at many a comics’ table, but never never at a wedding. It was a true comics’ table in every sense, with three sets of notes being memorized and compared before each comic went up to the mic to roast the groom.

Once the order was debated, Big Daddy Tazz got up and nailed Jason to the wall in a manner even Jeff Ross would envy. Trevor Boris did his 4-5 minutes infront of tables full of older folks who had no clue that he’s famous among 13 year old Canadian girls, and thus totally allowed to wear jeans to a wedding (long story). And the highlight was Dan Licoppe – who most would know as masked ape Mel Silverback on the 2008 season of Last Comic Standing – going undercover and doing the entire speech as Yoda.

Yeah, Jason has a Yoda thing. I think you can see why I felt it was essential for him to lock this girl in.

Four days later, I think I’m still a little hung over. But it was well worth the trip. 5 stars, A+, and all that jazz.

(The Winnipeg Free Press published a great preview of the wedding, for those wanting to marvel further.)

Monday, July 19
David Letterman: Rob Corddry
Jay Leno: Don Rickles
Craig Ferguson: Mary Lynn Rajskub
Jimmy Fallon: Horatio Sanz

Tuesday, July 20
David Letterman: Steve Carell
Jimmy Kimmel: J.B. Smoove
Jimmy Fallon: Jemaine Clement

Wednesday, July 21
Jay Leno: Chelsea Handler
Jimmy Kimmel: Adam Carolla
Craig Ferguson: Kevin Pollak
Jimmy Fallon: Steve Carell
Lopez Tonight: Tommy Davidson

Thursday, July 22
David Letterman: Joan Rivers, Bill Burr
Jay Leno: Wanda Sykes

Friday, July 23
Craig Ferguson: Mindy Kaling
The View: guest co-host Susie Essman

As part of my week-long campaign to convince myself that I’m totally ok with not being in Montreal for Just For Laughs, I thoroughly enjoyed this piece of honesty from Winnipeg-bound Doug Stanhope, who for the previous few years did independent shows in Montreal to coincide with the festival.

“Just for Laughs, the money they rake in and still they pay comics nothing, they think it’s still fucking 1994 where a comic is going to walk up and make half million dollars on a development deal. I’m not one to call the kettle black because I’ve rode off what I’ve done in the past, but at least I’m aware of it.”

The full Q&A is conducted by Jared Storey, and occupies my former territory of Uptown Magazine’s comedy pages (er… Page? Half page?) here.

Also, the description of the Royal Albert is spot on. I partied in those rooms with Canadian bands By Divine Right and hHead in 1997, but only ran into problems when we couldn’t find a pizza place willing to send its delivery drivers there. Good thing Mr. Bones employed bikers.

Much like last year’s list, Variety’s annual 10 Comics to Watch list contains a lot of “tell me something I don’t know” names — at least for the comedy-savvy. They are:

• Hannibal Buress
• Deon Cole
• Lucas Cruikshank
• Garfunkel & Oates
• Brett Gelman
• Chris Gethard
• The Imponderables
• Kyle Kinane
• Chelsea Peretti
• Jack Whitehall

The list is always released in tight conjunction with Just For Laughs, and many names on the list will take part in a panel discussion Friday afternoon at the JFL Comedy Conference. For an idea of what that’s like, check out my recap of last year’s.

While I’m on a plane to Winnipeg tomorrow, many of you are headed to Just For Laughs in Montreal. Some, presumably, for the first time.

I know my absence is soul-crushing to most of you (just play along). So as my legacy to all the n00b Press and Industry types, please enjoy these 10 handy tips I’ve learned during my five previous visits to Montreal.

10) Just buy tickets for shows you care about seeing, particularly if you’re Press. I know, it hurts your ego more than it does your wallet. But trust me: the Montreal fest is historically stingy with tickets and you won’t find out you’ve been denied something until they call you at 5pm the day-of. If they call you at all.

9) Industry, if you go the freebie route to get into the clubs, hide your laminate as soon as you get inside. Some of them take the “standing room” thing very seriously, and I have been yelled at for daring to step outside my assigned square foot of floorspace.

8 ) Ladies, wear flats at all times. You will walk more than you realize, because that 20 year old development assistant you befriended at the 10 To Watch reception swears the venue is “just around the corner!”. 2 miles later…

7) Skip the Midnight Party on Friday. Are you here to dance or are you here to schmooze? You can’t do both. By all means, put in an appearance, but all the cool old folks are hanging out at the Hyatt bar.

6) Don’t wait ’til Saturday night to try to have a conversation with someone. The Hyatt bar gets downright retarded. Chances are you will not get to them.

5) If you qualify for transportation from the airport, put down the damn Blackberry and get to know your van-mates. Confined spaces make for fantastic candid conversations.

4) If you get comp’d for a gala at the St-Denis, and you’re given tickets in the front 2/3 of the hall, realize that because it’s TV, you can’t leave. Even to pee. Just chill at the back of the theatre and they’ll fill your empty seats close to showtime with an appreciative set of suburbanites. You’ll be free to linger at the back and get the hell out of there whenever you please.

3) Get to Andy Kindler’s State of the Industry EARLY. It’s always packed.

2) Don’t fly out first thing Sunday morning. If you’ve experienced Just For Laughs correctly, you will be in no state to do so.

1) Read my reviews of Noel Fielding’s and Mike Birbiglia’s shows from last week in Toronto so you know what to expect! (Which ties into the bonus schmooze lesson of “make everything about YOU”.)

Have fun, kids! I’ll be keeping abreast of the tweeted and blogged festivities from my spot on the beach, trying not to weep into my Palm Pre.

Monday, July 12
Jay Leno: Seth Meyers
Craig Ferguson: Michael Ian Black
Jimmy Fallon: Eddie Izzard
Carson Daly: Matt Walsh (repeat)
Colbert Report: Steve Carell (repeat)
Lopez Tonight: Kathy Griffin

Tuesday, July 13
Jimmy Kimmel: Todd Glass (repeat)
Craig Ferguson: Louie Anderson
Regis and Kelly: Caroline Rhea

Wednesday, July 14
Jay Leno: Tracy Morgan
Craig Ferguson: Cathy Ladman
Jimmy Fallon: Jack McBrayer
Daily Show: Denis Leary (repeat)

Thursday, July 15
Jimmy Kimmel: Kevin James (repeat)
Ellen DeGeneres: Eddie Murphy (repeat)

Friday, July 16
Jay Leno: Craig Kilborn
Jimmy Fallon: Kurt Metzger