What gives, HuffPo?

The last to get this memo? The Huffington Post.

Louis tweeted up a storm yesterday, during one of his “drunken” twitter rants. He’s done this before, and it always involves cracks about Sarah Palin’s nether-regions that are so straightforwardly douchey that you have to lol.

The “angry drunk tweeting” shtick is entertaining. He knows it’s entertaining. And he knows that because he’s not actually a crazy drunk person.

But the Huffington Post, trying to hold onto what dignity it once had as a legitimate news source, has decided to frame this scandalous drunken twitter rage as an actual scandalous drunken twitter rage. They’ve posted screencaps of the offending tweets, along with a concise play-by-play of the events.

“The rant was pretty offensive and contained plenty of slurs, but we have to say Palin took the most blows. Later, C.K. even tweeted a confusing and offensive rant directly to her by using her Twitter handle.”

Huffington Post, you sweet little thing. *pat* *pat* I’m going to let you in on a secret: sometimes, comedians say things known as “jokes”. It’s what they make their living doing. And sometimes, these jokes aren’t real. I know, I know, it’s shocking! Imagine my horror when I learned that Jerry Seinfeld didn’t lose a sock in the dryer EVERY time he did laundry.

(And at the risk of completely robbing you of ALL your innocence, I’ll tell you that Louis and Todd Barry don’t actually hate each other. I’ll give you a minute to digest that.)

I think the lesson here is obvious: comics, just stick to pimping out your tour dates and nothing else. Because according to the HuffPo, tweeting is serious business.

Tuesday, August 31
The View: Chris Hardwick (repeat)

Wednesday, September 1
Regis and Kelly: Jude Law, Mike Myers (repeat)

Thursday, September 2
David Letterman: Will Arnett
Jimmy Fallon: Jon Glaser
Lopez Tonight: Steve Carell (repeat)

Friday, September 3
Jay Leno: Louis C.K.
Ellen DeGeneres: Jim Carrey (repeat)

But the big gag at the end – spoiler alert – gave me a sudden feeling of deja vu. Haven’t I seen George Clooney in a man’s bed in an awards show pre-taped piece before? It seems to ring a very loud, homoerotic, Jon-Stewart-2006-Oscar bell.

There really are no new ideas in Hollywood.

So who did it (or did him) better? Modern Family at the 2010 Emmys, or Jon Stewart at the 2006 Oscars? Vote below!

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

When the category of Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music, or Comedy Program was annexed to the Creative Arts edition, comedy nerds mourned the loss of their insider-y writer jokes and fleeting moments of silliness.

But trust Team Conan to come to our rescue! With minimal production facilities to work with, they came up with something simple but great. Unfortunately, the still shot gives away the joke, but there are a few additional treats within. Here’s hoping the other shows’ reels exist – and that we’ll see them when the show airs on E! August 27.

Monday, August 23
Craig Ferguson: Ellie Kemper (repeat)
Jimmy Fallon: Eddie Izzard (repeat)

Tuesday, August 24
Jimmy Fallon: Steve Carell (repeat)
Lopez Tonight: Jason Sudeikis
The View: Will Forte (repeat)

Wednesday, August 25
David Letterman: Tom Dreesen
Jay Leno: Steve Carell (repeat)
Craig Ferguson: Paula Poundstone (repeat)
Jimmy Fallon: Will Ferrell (repeat)
Carson Daly: Penn & Teller (repeat)

Thursday, August 26
Jimmy Fallon: Denis Leary (repeat)
The View: guest co-host Mario Cantone (repeat)
Regis and Kelly: Tina Fey (repeat)

Friday, August 27
Jay Leno: Seth Meyers (repeat)
Craig Ferguson: Eric Idle (repeat)
Jimmy Fallon: J.B. Smoove (repeat)
Regis and Kelly: Larry David (repeat)

(Also: It’s my blog, I’ll shoehorn an only vaguely-comedic topic in if I want to.)

I’ll start by saying that I’m a fan of an edgy, topical joke. My boundaries tend to be loose (that’s what he said) and cracks that go “over the line” are more likely to make me yawn than they are to piss me off.

Adoption drive spokesman duties at the Pet Rescue Shelter in Winnipeg; signing autographs for a young fan in Toronto. Photos by Sharilyn Johnson.

He’s also a brilliant comedic performer. On the ice, he’s fearless, displaying incredible skills as a clown and physical comedian (and awesome comedic actor, for those lucky enough to see him in Pan). He cares – deeply – about connecting with people. That’s what makes him a great performer, and a great person.

This week, his home in Toronto was destroyed by fire.

His family – including his two sons and his wife Sonia (principal dancer with the National Ballet) were thankfully not hurt. The house and its contents? Not quite as lucky.

But while the smoke was still billowing into the Toronto sky, the jokes started online.

The first to come were the “flaming” comments. Yes, har har, all figureskaters are fags. Aren’t you clever.

But it didn’t take much longer for the line to be crossed.

Once word got out that the fire may have been accidentally caused by Kurt (a statement the fire dept. has since retreated from), that’s when the line got crossed.

My friend Tina runs a wonderful fansite for Kurt, which he’s practically adopted as “official”. Among his own contributions are a few fun photos of him posing as if it’s a mugshot, pulling silly/guilty faces. Just something he did as a favor for Tina, for laughs.

Now, it’s being grabbed off the site and used against him. People are putting the photo alongside comments he started the fire, and here’s his mug shot for arson, har har.

How much of a piece of shit must you be to think this is okay?

Others find the situation HILARIOUS because his mansion and Porsche burned. A commenter on the Hollywood Reporter story decided the whole thing was oh-so-funny, because rich people don’t own items of personal significance.

I’ve been honoured to speak with him enough to almost comfortably say I “know” him. He’s remarkably candid with people he barely knows, and goes out of his way to make everyone feel special. You watch him interact with fans and clueless journalists, and you think “this guy just cannot be for real”.

Kurt, of all people, doesn’t deserve this.

None of us know what – if anything – is salvageable from inside. But consider this: aside from the typical mementos like baby albums and the love letters, the home contained an endless number of artifacts from his skating career, and her dancing career. He also had belongings from his father who passed recently, who lived the life of an Alberta cowboy most of us can only imagine as a movie.

The home was a Canadian heritage, sport, and culture museum all rolled into one. Operative word, of course, being “was”.

Even if you don’t know Kurt, this is a tragic loss. Hell, even if you don’t give a shit about Kurt, it’s tragic.

Kicking him while he’s experiencing the worst personal tragedy of his life? Unforgivable.

I don’t care that he’s a celebrity. The Lohans and Montags of the world want press for a fabricated story about break-up, so Joan Rivers gets to make fun of their thick ankles on the red carpet. Fair’s fair. But this? Not fair. To anyone in this situation.

The only saving grace is that – knowing how Kurt deals with things – he’s likely avoiding the media coverage and its smirk-filled comments.

Ranty rant is ranty.

(Love ya, Kurt.)

Tuesday, August 17
Ellen DeGeneres: David Spade (repeat)

Wednesday, August 18
Jay Leno: Don Rickles (repeat)

Thursday, August 19
The View: Tom Papa (repeat)

Friday, August 20

Jay Leno: Wanda Sykes (repeat)
Ellen DeGeneres: (repeat)

Tuesday, August 10
none

Wednesday, August 11
Carson Daly: Anthony Jeselnik (repeat)
Ellen DeGeneres: Ricky Gervais (repeat)

Thursday, August 12
Jimmy Fallon: Kids in the Hall
Lopez Tonight: Aubrey Plaza

Friday, August 13
Craig Ferguson: Chris Hardwick
Jimmy Fallon: Bobby Slayton
Regis and Kelly: Jimmy Fallon

Louis CK does Carnegie Hall Nov. 4

Big names include Joel McHale, Brian Regan, Gabriel Iglesias, Aziz Ansari, and Louis CK’s much anticipated Carnegie Hall debut.

For the full up-to-date lineup, visit their website.

Still to be announced? Shows at Caroline’s, and perhaps a few panels at the Paley Centre.

And if you’re in the mood for counterprogramming, I hear Comix is bringing Greg Proops in that weekend. I have a feeling I’ll have some tough scheduling choices to make again this year!

Tuesday, August 3
Daily Show: Will Ferrell
Lopez Tonight: Margaret Cho
The View: Chris Hardwick
Ellen DeGeneres: George Lopez (repeat)

Wednesday, August 4
Craig Ferguson: Paula Poundstone
Jimmy Fallon: Will Ferrell

Thursday, August 5
David Letterman: Cory Kahaney
Jimmy Fallon: Denis Leary
Tavis Smiley: Garry Shandling
Lopez Tonight: Will Ferrell, Elisabeth Moss
The View: Lorraine Bracco

Friday, August 6
Jay Leno: comics from “Chelsea Lately”**

**Does Leno hate having comics on his show SO much that he can’t even name them?