Holly Montag climbs a steep Hill

Holly Montag – the less-talented sister of Heidi (yes, less talented) has decided she’s a comedian. Lucky us. Lucky audience last night at the Comedy Store in LA.

Hollywoodlife.com has the “exclusive” video of her set, and in their review they seem to think she did just swell. Methinks the editors need to get out a little more.

Her big opener was “My name is Holly Montag, and I’m an alcoholic.” Oh, I get it. She’s at the wrong meeting. She’s as original as she is useful.

Following that was a lengthy musing on her alcohol problems, but instead of aiming for honesty and realness, she opted for a hacky personification of “Jack Daniels”. He’s her best friend!

But then it got good. She claimed to be on stage in an effort to get revenge on Chris Franjola, who she heckled and threatened to whip with chains (seriously) with at the Laugh Factory less than a year ago. Yes, she seems to have some sort of Charles Atlas ad fantasy about out-comedying him, and making him regret how she got herself kicked out of the club.

Aaaaand here come the tampon jokes. Ohmygod Holly, DO tell us what would happen if men got periods! (Can we just throw an oversized pink blazer on her and Hot Tub Time Machine this chick back to 1987 or whatever year her material came from?)

Oh, and did you guys know that Los Angeles is different than other parts of the country? I totally did not.

My favourite part is when she admited to filling the room with her friends.

Look, I’m all in favour of people trying standup – the famous included. And nobody is expected to be awesome the first time out. But to even have a shot at doing well, you have to have at least some iota of humility. And a decent reason for doing it is helpful, too. I highly doubt she’s looking for a venue to stretch her creative muscles, and I’m guessing she’s proud as a peacock today over how she, like, totally killed. In your face, Franjola!

Hopefully someone will dangle something shiny infront of her soon, so she won’t be able to concentrate on writing a second set. (Then again, we’d never be treated to her valuable insight on how dogs are different than cats.)

Tags: Holly Montag

About the Author

Sharilyn Johnson is the author of the book Bears & Balls: The Colbert Report A-Z. Called "one of the city’s most discriminating comedy critics” by NOW Magazine, Sharilyn has been covering comedy for longer than she cares to admit. She served as the comedy reporter for Winnipeg's Uptown Magazine for five years, and was the host of the radio show Laugh Tracks for three seasons. Her work has also appeared in the Toronto Star, the Winnipeg Free Press, The Apiary, and on CBC Radio's national comedy programs LOL and Definitely Not the Opera.